Why I Fired My Secretary

I got this from my email:


Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."


I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.


My kids came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.?So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table.

We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day...We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back."

"Ok." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...

Followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...





Naked.


Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Kinematics

2 Days In

It's been 2 days into my new job and so far everything's been going quite alright. My job is related to sales, so everyday I become like a fly, pestering people to buy. Sometimes I feel bad to be such a bother, but I just shrug it off.

Like my previous banquet job, I have to stand for super long hours. My legs hurt at the end of the day but I guess it's all a matter of getting used to it again. I'm finally getting the "sleeping early" part right; my bedtime now is around 1am, compared to the previous one of 5am.

On the way back, I realised something. Back when I was working as a banquet waiter, I used to get grumpy easily after work and sometime in the days that followed. For example, on the bus back, even the simplest things like someone accidentally knocking me with his/her bag would piss me off. However, I didn't really bother about it, thinking that it would only happen while I was working as a banquet waiter.

This time however, I discovered that the same thing is happening again.

So I thought about it on the way home today and came to 2 possible conclusions.

The first one was that perhpas it was due to the physical fatigue. After all, it's only natural to get be irritable when you're tired after a long day at work.

The second conclusion was that that since my line of work (like the previous one) required me to be all nice and polite, and at the end of the day, I longer had any "niceness" left inside me. Hence, I became irritable.

I think that it's more of the 2nd reason though. I don't mean to boast when I say that if you've worked with me, I try to be nice to the customers and my fellow colleagues as well. There's really no point in being mean to your colleagues because it'll just affect you back. So I exhust all my "nicness" and at the end of the day I become a grumpy old fart. Hahaha.

Realizing that, I try to control myself mentally to prevent myself from becoming a grumpy old fart. I think after I get used to working this "being nice" job full-time, I'll be back to normal. Alright, I'm falling alseep as I type this. So I'll just spell check tomorrow or something.(DONE)

In the mean time, good night. =)


Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Steeplejack

Not Sleeping Makes The World Go Round

I've finally gotten a full-time job. Phew. Actually I already got it last Thursday, but I was too busy settling some immigration papers to blog about it.

I wouldn't say that this is my ideal job, but my parents have been nagging at me for taking so long to find a permanent job, so I'm just glad I can get them off my back. =) It's unfortunate that my workplace doesn't have a computer or else I'd be able to blog more often. I don't want to reveal much about my job, since it's always better to keep stuff like that vague. It's in town however, so the location's pretty good.

Today was my first day but it was only training, so it wasn't too bad. I still have 2 more days of training to go. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but when I stepped into the training room this morning, I was the only guy there. I wasn't intimidated or anything, it just felt funny. At least later after getting to know the rest of my colleagues, all of them seemed pretty friendly.

One of the things I'm trying to do now, is to adapt my biological clock back with the rest of the world. So far the past few days have failed; I've been able to get the "wake up early" part right by forcing myself but I've been unable get the "sleep early" sorted out. As a result, this past week, I've been walking around looking like a Night Stalker at times. For example, in the past 56 hours, I've only managed 9 hours of sleep. Last week I just told my friend, "As you grow older, sleep becomes more and more precious and elusive."



The effects of not sleeping


Well, look on the bright side, at least you have plently of time to sleep when you're dead.


Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Normative Ethics

Stuck In The Net

Freak injury rules out Hammers keeper Carroll


Talking about freak injuries, I've been fortunate enough not to suffer any. There was this instance though, when a loose ball dropped just in front of the goaline, and I sprinted all the way to tap in the rebound. My momentum plus a nudge on the back by a defender caused me to crash against into the net, leaving my head stuck in between. (Okay, you can laugh now.)

It was a good thing I got out quite easily and didn't have to suffer the humiliation for too long. Well, at least the goal was cruial to our team's victory. Hahaha.

Anyway, here's a list of the bizarre injuries sustained by professional players over the years.
(Source: Soccernet)


RIO FERDINAND: During his spell at Leeds the England defender managed to pick up a tendon strain in his knee watching television. Ferdinand had his foot up on a coffee table for a number of hours and ended up injuring a tendon behind his knee.

RICHARD WRIGHT: The Everton goalkeeper faced most of the summer on the sidelines after damaging his shoulder falling through a loft as he was trying to pack away his suitcases.

SEAN FLYNN: The then Kidderminster captain suffered a broken nose, busted lip and bruised toes after tripping over his son's toy cars.

DAVE BEASANT: The veteran goalkeeper managed to rule himself out for eight weeks in 1993 when he dropped a bottle of salad cream on his foot, severing the tendon in his big toe.

SANTIAGO CANIZARES: The Spain goalkeeper missed the 2002 World Cup after accidentally shattering a bottle of aftershave in his hotel sink. A piece of glass fell on his foot, severing a tendon in his big toe.

KASEY KELLER: The American international knocked out his front teeth while pulling his golf clubs out of the boot of his car.

ALAN WRIGHT: The diminutive former Aston Villa full-back strained his knee by stretching to reach the accelerator in his new Ferrari. He subsequently swapped the sports car for a Rover 416.

DAVID JAMES: The England goalkeeper once pulled a muscle in his back when reaching for the television remote control and the keen angler also tweaked his shoulder when trying to land a monster carp.

STEVE MORROW: The former Northern Ireland defender broke his collarbone after falling off the shoulders of Tony Adams while celebrating the 1993 League Cup final win against Sheffield Wednesday.

ALEX STEPNEY: In 1975 the Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney dislocated his jaw while shouting at his defenders during a match against Birmingham.

CHIC BRODIE: The Brentford goalkeeper's career came to an abrupt end in October 1970 when he collided with a sheepdog which had run onto the pitch. Brodie shattered his kneecap while the dog got the ball. ``The dog might have been a small one, but it just happened to be a solid one,'' he reflected.

SVEIN GRONDALEN: The Norway defender had to withdraw from an international during the 1970s after colliding with a moose while out jogging.

ALAN MULLERY: The England star missed the 1964 tour of South America after injuring his back while brushing his teeth.

DAVID BATTY: The former Leeds and Blackburn midfielder managed to re-injure his Achilles tendon when he was run over by his toddler on a tricycle.

DARREN BARNARD: The former Barnsley midfielder was sidelined for five months with a torn knee ligament after he slipped in a puddle of his puppy's urine on the kitchen floor.

LEE HODGES: The then Barnet player slipped on a bar of soap in the shower and wrenched his groin.

CHARLIE GEORGE: Arsenal's 1971 FA Cup hero managed to cut off his toe with a lawnmower.


This last one is the craziest, I tell you. In terms of DOTA, it would TRIPLE KILL the other ones on this list.


MISTAR: The Indonesian footballer was killed aged just 25 by a stampede of pigs which overran his team's training pitch in 1995.


Man... I'd really hate be killed by pigs.



The 3 alleged pigs involved in the crime.



Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Platonic idealism

Getting Flagged

My super lovable girlfriend just kicked my ass 9 times at Minesweeper Flags. I never like losing, but I know when I'm beaten fair and square. Anyway, a girl who kick can ass is definitely a turn on.

That's why she's my super lovable girlfriend. =)


Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Minerva

iGod

Ever wanted to talk to God but couldn't reach him? Well now he's just one click away.

iGod


Here's how my conversation went:




Go on, try it out.


Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Agnosticism

The 13th Day Of October

Thank you so much for everything, and for such a wonderful day. =)

Words and Colors

(Via LancerLord)


Found this cool game. Colored words will appear and the objective is to click on the words stating color of the word instead of clicking what the word says.

It may seem hard at first because it makes your left and right brain come into conflict with each other, but the trick is simply not to read the word. Concentrate on recognizing the color and before the word becomes big enough to read, click on the color.

Come to think of it, playing this game with only your left eye should make it easier since your left eye is connected directly to your right brain, which is in charge of recognizing images and symbols.


Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Vitruvian Man

Internal Pounding

(Via Stoned Nerd)


I tell you, it's the polar bear's face that makes this picture hiliarious. I've even made it my current display picture on MSN.

I wanted to complete a half done entry on a discussion I had with a guy trying to convince me that we all live inside The Matrix, but right now I'm having this pounding headache. I wonder what's causing it. Bah, I'll probably go to sleep soon.

Anyway, nowadays I've been hooked onto Wikipedia. I can spend hours reading the stuff that's in there. One article has a keyword that leads to another article, and that article has another keyword, and so it never ends. So from now on, I'm going to put a Wikipedia Topic Of The Day at the end of each entry. You can read it if you're bored or have nothing else to read. Gaining some general knowledge is always good. =)


Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Order of the Bath

A Key Made Of Bone

I've said before that if you really want to watch a particular movie, don't read any reviews about it because it might spoil your viewing experience. But don't worry about reading this one. I won't reveal any spoilers here and I always try my best not to reveal details that might unfairly raise or lower your expectations of the movie.

Overall, I'd say The Skeleton Key was an-above-average movie. Certainly while the elements that make up this movie aren't original (a pretty babe, creepy old house, creepy old people), what makes it different from other horror movies is that it actually has a pretty good plot which gets more and more intriguing as it unfolds.



2 old people, a babe and a creepy house. What more could you need?


The typical scare tactics (like someone/something appearing of out of nowhere with a loud, accompanying sound effect) are present of course, but thankfully they don't become the main focus of the film nor are they repeated over and over again.

The thrill and suspense in the movie are well done and there are moments that will really have you at the edge of your seat. The same goes for the twists at the end of the movie. I won't reveal whether I liked it or not as it would influence your opinion, but I will reveal this: you won't see the twists or the ending coming.



Kate Hudson checks to see if the key is indeed made of human bone


Upon at rating of 10, I'd give The Skeleton Key a 7.00 7.25. After all, any movie with Kate Hudson in a wet T-shirt and sleeping in her underwear deserves an extra 0.25.

Quote Of The Day #2

Here's a quote from Melissa's blog that I've always wanted to put up but never got down to doing it.


"It is when you want for him what he wants for himself, then you truly love him, but when you want for him what for you want for him, then you're not loving him, you're loving yourself, through him."
- Conversations With God III


A really meaningful quote, isn't it? It makes you re-think what your definition of love really is. At the same time it makes you ponder whether such a form of love is actually possible.

I wish I could add more to this entry but sadly my brain's too tired from work to think of anything else aside from sleep.

House

Dang it. I went down to the hotel earlier on to collect my pay and it turned out that the cashier took the day off. Bloody hell. And I even went down at 10pm. I should have stayed home and watched House instead.





At least I could have seen Jennifer Morrison. She's cute. If she was my doctor, I'd get well in no time. =D





But aside from the pretty babe in the show, you should watch House because it's a pretty good show. The only bad thing is that you have to turn up the volume a little when watching because you have to listen to all the stuff that they're saying or else you can lose track of the story quite easily.

Oh shoot. It's raining. Gotta rush to close the windows. I'll update again soon. =)

Liverpool 1 - 4 Chelsea

Chelsea Thrash Reds


Today I decided to support Chelsea. Why? For 2 reasons.

1)I like Jose Mourinho. Despite his arrogant comments, you have to say that he's been able to back it all up with results.

2)I don't know about other Man Utd supporters, but I personally hate Liverpool more. Like Ferguson said, the biggest rivalry is between Liverpool and Man Utd. So of course I'd rather see Liverpool crash.

Besides, it's been irritating me lately how the media have been hailing Liverpool as the team to beat and match Chelsea when in 6 games they've only beat them once; and we all know that that goal shouldn't have counted. You might reason back that most of the recent games were draws, but since when did drawing games count as a victory? If only, it just goes to show much Liverpool are behind Chelsea.

Perhaps like my friend, a Newcastle fan said, "Looks like Newcastle are the only ones who can beat Chelsea this season." And he may be right, since Newcastle did indeed beat Chelsea in the FA Cup last season.

Sure, today's loss hurt Liverpool, but what made it sting even more was in the manner that they were trashed at home.

Watching the match, Liverpool's inadequacies were clearly seen. Like I've told many people, Peter Crouch just isn't good enough for Liverpool. Sure, he may fit in with Benitez's new long ball tactic, but how many goals has he scored so far? Comparing him to Drogba, at least Drogba has more skill, pace and agility than Crouch.

And once again, Traore was the guy who started Liverpool's downfall. The penalty was not only clumsy, but stupid. His failed clearance might have been unlucky, but after that Drogba was dribbling to the byline. Why not block the cross instead of sliding in? He shouldn't have panicked. After all, Drogba the target man was the one with the ball. He would only have to worry about Lampard coming in, which Hyypia and Carragher should have been able to deal with. Come on Traore, sliding in without even touching the ball, that's just poor.

"Wah lau, he cut the grass, he cut the man, but never cut the ball. Stupid sia."

Towards the end, as Benitez changed tactics with his substitutions, Mourinho did the same, nullifying any chance of a Liverpool comeback. When Benitez brought in Pongolle for Hyypia, he brought in Geremi for Duff. When Cisse came on for Traore, he put in another centre back by bringing in Huth.

So even as Chelsea start running away with the title again, you really can't blame them. What do you expect? That they would lose on purpose just to make the league exciting for you? If anything, it's the other teams who have to start stepping up their game to challenge Chelsea.