Sunday, August 08, 2004

Love And Commitment I

I was reading Eunice's blog some time ago and she had one entry where she talked about love and commitment in a relationship, how they work and are related to each other. I agree with her that love and commitment are essential to any relationship. Take away either one and it won't work. Then came the question as to which one was more important, love or commitment?

I feel that love and commitment are essential in a relationship, but love is much greater than commitment.

Commitment is will only work if there's a reason, and this case it's love. Love will always be the center of a relationship and what keeps it going. A special and unique bond between 2 people. It is because of this bond that people get into a relationship in the first place. The reason that love is much more important than commitment is that love exists by itself while commitment doesn't.

In other words, commitment needs a reason to exist, but love does not. Commitment without a reason is just plain stupid if you ask me. It's like doing something for no purpose at all. It's just meaningless. You won't go out if you don't have somewhere to go and you won't scratch your balls if it isn't itchy. Likewise, you cannot commit without love and doing so just doesn't make any sense at all.

The strange and funny thing about Love however, is that sometimes Love just happens and appears without any reason at all. You just can't explain it. It something that people from the beginning of time, have been seeking to find the answer to. It's like how sometimes people can fall in love with someone else and when you ask them why they did, they just shrug their shoulders and reply sheepishly with a smile, “I don't know. I just did." That's the special thing about love. You don't need a reason.

And it is this reason that compels 2 people into a relationship of love and holds it together with commitment. You can say that commitment is the result of love and a relationship put together. For it is because we love, therefore we commit, not the other way around.

If the love in a relationship is strong enough, likewise the commitment will be strong enough and overcome the problems and difficulties that come. That's why the song, "Come What May" is so meaningful. A song about how love overcomes all.

Some relationships break up and they blame the lack of commitment as the reason. The real reason however is that the love between both parties has faded away and they longer feel the need or motivation to keep the commitment they have to each other. When the reason of the relationship is gone, it's hard to continue the relationship. When that happens, there are only 2 ways a relationship can go. Rediscover the lost love between both sides, or, end the relationship.

So, you might ask,

Why do so many couples still breakup even though both sides are in love and committed to the relationship?

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