Friday, August 05, 2005

Living With Others

I think I have a love hate relationship with my uncle and auntie. Sometimes I think they like me, other times I think they find me a bother staying in this place.

We don't have any bad blood between us but there is one issue that's a problem. It's on the issue of curfew. It was something that my parents asked them to do before they left. So officially, my curfew time is 12 midnight. Sometimes however, I come late and that's what causing this small tension between us.

Actually this curfew was already being implemented during the time my parents were already here. They had as much trouble as my uncle and auntie now. I'm a bit of rebel I have to admit, but the main reason I don't follow this curfew strictly is because I think it's stupid. I don't care. If it's stupid, I'm not going to follow it.

For every rule set in place, there's a reason behind it. It's important to understand to the reason behind the rule so that we won't be following it like an idiot and more importantly, we'll know when certain rules are right or wrong. So then, why do parents impose curfews? Here are the reasons I came up with.

Curfews are implemented because:

1) To make sure that you're safe because it's dangerous at night.

2) To make sure that you're at home so that you won't mix with bad company.

3) To make sure that you won't stay out late and be home in time to prepare for school/work the next day. (This includes studying, homework, etc)

4) To spend time with the rest of the family when everybody's home.

Any other reasons? I can't think of anymore. The reasons are quite reasonable I suppose... that is, if you're still a child! Come on, I'm already 20 years old! Like my friend Donavon said, "Wah, so old already still got curfew meh?"

Exactly! I'm already old enough to protect myself and I have enough sense to tell the difference between good and bad company. I'm not schooling any more either. What about spending time with the rest of the family? Well, the truth is, I'm not close to my uncle and auntie at all.

To tell you the truth, I don't like coming home. As I've come to realise, there's really nothing for me here. Whenever I'm here, I just feel so bored. That's why I'm come home so late. I'd rather be out spending time with my super lovable girlfriend or my friends.

Their family is different from mine, which is expected of course, but it's exactly that which makes it hard to me to get to know them better. First off, I'm not the kind of person who will easily get to know you or the kind that's very approachable and easy to get close to. My sister's that kind of person and she shares lots of things, so lots of my relatives like her. I'm not the super friendly kind like my sister and I'm a much more guarded person so I don't share much. So in my case, it's something like you have to take the first step before I start getting to know you. I think my uncle and auntie are pretty shy too, and we both don't talk that much. When we do talk however, it's the usual, polite small talk. They hardly watch TV too! When they're free at home, I don't know what they do, but whatever it is, it isn't watching TV. There are times when I watch channel 51, the Chinese MTV, before leaving the house and when I get back home at night and switch on the cable TV, it's still on Channel 51!

Another thing is that they sleep really early. Well, at least to me. By 10pm, they're already in their room getting ready for bed. So most of the time, when I come home they're already asleep and when I wake up they're gone for work. That's how we don't see each other for many days. Relating back to the curfew issue, during the times when I come home on time, I don't even know whether they realise that I was on time or not. Occasionally either my uncle or auntie stays late and I think it's just plain bad luck that sometimes I come home late during the times they are awake.

Maybe that gives them the impression that I'm out late most of the time. I don't know, but one thing I do know is that this curfew is stupid.

Bah. Maybe they'll stop bothering me once I get a job.


Blogger Laughingcow said...

I think curfews are implemented for all those reasons, but on some subconscious level, parents (or parental figures) just feel the need to exert some discipline. Perhaps it is precisely because we're all grown up that they have some sort of crisis figuring out what it means to be a parent of an adult -- like they can't just tell us to eat up all the green peas on our plate anymore -- so they just make up (or hang on to) silly rules to feel in charge. ;)

5:24 AM  
Blogger becca said...

Maybe you'll talk to your parents and hoefully they'll approve of not giving you a curfew. AFter all, I think your aunt and uncle are just carrying out your parents's orders. Good luck!

8:19 AM  
Blogger Lynne said...

Wow, surprised that you still have a curfew at the age of 20, you should really talk to your uncle and auntie. My dad "dropped" my curfew when I entered NUS, I think that was the "me growing up phase" for him. Also I moved out of the house, so he had no choice too, hahaha. I hope you getting a job will be your "growing up phase" for your uncle and auntie (and your parents).

8:33 PM  
Blogger Jayaxe said...

Curfew? If you're female, I won't be surprised. But a guy already 20? No way!

Maybe if the old folks are worried, maybe just make it a point to call home everytime before it gets too late or something.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Zen|th said...

Laughingcow: Yeah. Maybe they just need to feel in charge of me because my parents left me in their care.

Becca: I don't think I could talk to them. It would just be super awkward. Haha.

Lynne: Yeah. Maybe my growing up phase for them is getting a job. I need to get a job now!!!

Jayaxe: I know. It's embarrassing enough telling people I have a curfew. Maybe I'll do that. I get so pissed at this curfew thing that I can't be bothered to call or msg when I get home late.

3:15 AM  
Blogger Ang Ku Kueh said...

eh....20 liao leh...u guy somemore...i think it's time u talk to them. :)

10:33 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

i know what you mean. when i was stayin with my aunt, i also a curfew but it was at 10pm(god, i feel like cinderalla, no not cinderalla, more like casper).

The thing is, i feel obligated to listen to them because they're not my parents. Like ya know, it's not very nice to argue with people doing you a favor. I think they also quite paiseh to reprimand me outrightly.

But still, i can literally feel the tension boiling. It's not very pleasent lah.

6:53 AM  
Blogger Zen|th said...

Ang Ku Kueh: Nah. Maybe I'll rebel all the way. Hahahaha.

Melissa: I'm in exactly in the same situation. I feel a bit bit obligated to listen to them, so I try to make the curfew. By "try" I mean I get home around 12:30am. =) Yep, I know they're a bit pai seh to scold me, so at times they'll send smses instead. But I just reply with, "Sorry, I'm on the way home now." Hahahahaha.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Inarticulate said...

I'd probably agree with Becca's view as well. It could be due to their lack of understanding about you that's why they can follow what your parents did.

Tell u the truth, I'm 28 yrs old already and my Mum still calls me once in a while when I'm out late but I'd just tell her who I'm with [despite the fact she doesn't know them] and just tell her to go to bed.

Works for me though.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Zen|th said...

Inarticulate: Hmm.. If only they would do that right now, I'll be fine with it. As long as they don't restrict my freedom it's alright.

3:06 PM  

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