Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The People I Live With

(Note: This post was written on the date stated above, but I've been only been able to post it up today, the 24th of December.)

I'm feeling slightly pissed off right now.

Usually my uncle leaves me alone to do my stuff at night, but earlier tonight he told me to go and sleep at 12am. I was quite unwillingly to do so, but since it was only once in a blue moon that he told me to sleep (and I was pretty tired as well), I decided to go ahead and listen to him.

At around 12am however, I was still online because I wanted to finish a file transfer before going to bed. So as it was going on, I went to the toilet to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. While I was brushing my teeth though, I heard someone walk to the living room followed by sounds of wires and plugs being pulled out. When I came back to the living room, I saw my uncle taking the modem and walking back to the room.

Of course I got pissed because my transfer didn't get completed! I shouldn't have bothered about him in the first place.

The thing about my uncle is this. He's afraid of conflict. He's afraid of confrontation. If you meet him, he's the typical nice guy, all kind and friendly. But if there's one thing, or in this case 2 things, he can't handle, it's confronting someone and handling a conflict. He's one of those who doesn't believe in letting his anger out. Therefore he finds it hard to get angry at someone and tell them off or scold them. The only person he does that to is his own son. But even then, the kind of anger he displays is mild.

So when it comes to a conflict like today, he takes the easy way out by simply taking the modem. I mean, he didn't even say anything, and took it just like that. Fair enough, it's his modem and his internet connection, but even your own parent tells you before he or she takes action. Heck, even before they take action in secondary school they let you know.

What pissed me off was that he showed total disregard to me, or anything I was doing by just taking the modem without even saying a word. Or perhaps it was his cowardice. He knew I wasn't in the living room so he quickly took the modem. And even as he was walking back to his room with the modem I passed him by but he didn't even look me in the eye.

Bah. Deep inside, I know my uncle doesn't like me. But wait, this isn't another of those emotional "(insert name) hates me" statements after a conflict. We don't really talk to each other at home, and even in church, while he looks out for other people and warmly shakes their hands or greets them, that just doesn't happen between the both of us. Sometimes I try to make eye contact and acknowledge his presence, but his eyes always don't seem to meet mine. I can read people quite well and I'm quite certain that I'm right on this one.

I guess it's all because because I'm a bit of a rebel. I'll go against something if I don't believe it's right. Like how I didn't follow the 12am curfew they set for me because I thought it was absurd. Can you even believe they set a sleeping curfew for me? Of course I didn't follow that either.

To be honest, I'm wondering what's going to happen when there starts to be some unhappiness with his leadership or conflicts in the church. (In case you don't know, my uncle's a pastor and took over from my parents when they left for the States.) Now I'm not cursing my uncle, the church or anything, but as long as you're a leader, it doesn't matter if you're leading a church, a multi-billion dollar company or a football team. You can't please everyone and these issues are bound to arise. People will even try to kick you out of your leadership position. Sad to say, this happens even in churches and I have seen it happen before.

In fact, the last time my uncle handled a conflict in his church, it didn't turn out too well. I know because on the long drive from San Jose to San Diego, my parents and my uncle and aunt were talking about it. What I remember distinctly was that they were talking about how he should have stood up and defended himself when a board member was saying something about him that wasn't true. I wasn't eavesdropping though, they knew I was awake (my brother and cousin were asleep) and listening all along. Besides we were all in a van, where else could I go? Haha.

So what's my whole point in writing all this? I don't know. I guess I just got pissed off and wrote whatever came to mind.
I have to add a few more things though. Please don't start judging Christians or Christianity based on what I've written here today.

First off all, what I've written isn't complete. I never stated how certain events started or ended and I've left out a lot of details as well. Secondly, at times, I'm not directly involved. However, I heard everything directly from the people involved so what I've written is not mere hearsay. Lastly, everything written here is from my point of view. To start making assumptions based on only 1 perspective would be extremely unwise.

So once again, please don't start judging Christians or Christianity based on what I've written today.

On another note, Christmas is in 4 days! The Christmas spirit here is so dead though.

Wikipedia Topic Of The Day: Pyrokinesis


Anonymous tammy said...

that's so mean of your uncle! tell him off! tell your parents!!

on a lighter note,
(though i'm a bit dead now)

6:41 PM  
Blogger Ang Ku Kueh said...

oh yah...i didn't really feel X'mas this year either. haiz. OTOH, u might like to talk to your uncle? 2 silent indiv in the house can be very stressful.

4:32 PM  
Anonymous tammy said...

his uncle not attached or rather, married yet meh?
the wife should help.

11:33 PM  
Blogger Zen|th said...

Tammy: Merry Christmas! =)

Ang Ku Kueh: I think he's the one afraid to talk. Hahaha.

12:42 AM  

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